In the end it all comes down to you
by emerish
Summary: War is in full swing. Harry left Draco with Ron and Hermione behind to search the last remaining Horcruxes alone. How will Draco cope with his lover not by his side and in danger with possibility to never return by his side?


_**In the end it all comes down to you**_

_**Summary.**_ _War is in full swing. Harry left Draco with Ron and Hermione behind to search the last remaining Horcruxes alone. How will Draco cope with his lover not by his side and in danger with possibility to never return by his side?_

**Note:** _italics_ are past

_**i.**_

The Grimuld Place stands silent and invisible to other praying eyes. The old bricks, that hold it together, start to fade into grey, matching the fog that surrounds the house perfectly, yet not enough for the Order members not to see the house in between.

They come and go these days, armed with wands and their bravery. Yet, the house and other their occupants are missing the person who's the owner of this strange, old house.

Harry Potter.

It has been 2 days and 20 hours and 44 minutes since he had left to fight alone. Nobody, not even his friends or lover, could hold him back. It's his destiny and, though he said he'll be okay, they worry a great deal, helping in every way possible. Deep down they know that when the day of the big fight between him and Voldemort will rise, they will be there to fight by his side, even if not all of them.

Early morning finds Draco sitting alone in the kitchen and twirling a glass of water in his hand, eyes unseeingly focused in front of him.

Ron finds him like that, pouting and slouched in his chair. He slowly approaches the boy, careful not to draw attention to himself at first.

"Draco, you're pouting," Ron suddenly interrupts the silence when he stands in front of Draco.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Harry has been gone only for two days."

"I couldn't sleep without him by my side and that's why I'm pouting because he's a complete bastard for making me miss him like that."

Ron is a little surprised, it's the most honest Draco Malfoy has been with him (like ever), though there's small smile on Ron's lips, knowing that Draco is simply angry that Harry didn't take him with him.

&

_**ii.**_

"_You're a bastard, Malfoy, an evil bastard."_

"_That's all you have to say, Potter?" Draco sneers, towering over Potter, their bodies close, oh so close._

"_There's nothing more to say about you," Potter glares at him, his hand touching Draco's on his way past him. All of sudden, from the touch there's a jolt of sudden electricity shooting through his hand. Potter felt it, too, Draco's sure, thinking of the surprise visible on the boy's face._

"_What you mean by nothing else, Potter? …Potter?" Draco demands._

_Potter stops in his tracks, throwing a glance over his shoulder, obviously feeling smug, "You see there's simply nothing else of you to see, besides what anyone knows- that you're evil and a bastard… in shorter words, heartless."_

"_You know nothing," it isn't the biting answer Draco planned. Those words got under his skin like no other could._

"_Oh, I think I do," with those words Potter leaves angered Draco alone in a deserted corridor._

"_I'll show you, Potter. You'll see what's actually there. You know nothing," Draco mutters to himself, angry._

&

_**iii.**_

Remus is the one to come in after Draco's answer, "Come in," to his knock on the door. Draco's currently sitting on his bed, an open book in his lap, and he's not looking well with circles under his eyes and skin paler than ever.

Remus walks towards the boy who's so stubborn to don't come down and eat something for days.

"I know it's hard for you, Draco."

"You know nothing about how hard it actually is."

"Yes, boy, I might not know that way but I do understand because you're not the only one who misses him and think that's he's a little stupid."

"A little doesn't cover it. There's no way to explain how crazy and stupid and reckless he's and I won't begin," Draco looks at Remus with anger showing on his face. He gave up long ago on pretending to act indifferent in front of the older man, knowing that he could see right through the lies, after all he's a werewolf and that's why has stronger senses.

"See, you're angry and have so much to say to the other boy so there's no point of starving yourself to death because then he won't find that out."

Draco actually attempts a smile at that but it comes out more like a grimace, saying, "You may have a point."

"See you at diner, then."

Draco only nods and turns back to his book, unseeingly staring at the same page like he had done for the last hour. _It's pointless_; he thinks and closes the book. _Maybe I'll come to dinner, after all._

&

_**iv.**_

"_Malfoy, what are you doing?" Potter looks at Draco in bewilderment, their faces in the same level._

"_If you haven't noticed, Potter, your books have fallen out and I'm helping to pick them up," Draco hands a couple of books back to utterly confused Harry Potter whose green eyes follows his every move with suspicion and gets up._

"_Why?"_

"_What why, Potter? You're a strange man. Instead of saying simple thank you---I believe it's not that hard-- you ask me one syllable question. Where's your intelligence Potter, I must ask," Draco shakes his head in amusement and his words lacks the usual malice. From the look on Harry's face, Draco assumes that the boy caught that._

_Feeling accomplished, without another word Draco turns on his heel and walks away._

--

"—_Malfoy's changed. He hasn't said anything harmful for weeks now," Granger's voice carries over the half empty corridor._

"_I know. It unnerves me," Potter answers._

"_Mate, I'm sure he's up to something bad."_

"_Ron, what if he's not?"_

"_He's always up to something. I'm sure that he has some very--" the rest of the sentence is drowned by the crowd of fifth years coming this way._

_Draco comes out of the shadow where he was hiding from the trio, muttering to himself, "Yes, Weasley, I'm up to something but that's something complete different from what you think or ever consider."_

&

_**v.**_

The sun outside is shining bright like mocking Draco about his loneliness. These days he has become short-tempered and snappish, nothing like the indifferent Malfoy he was before. That's because of one certain Gryffindor boy.

Draco turns away from the window where outside leaves are falling, "I can't anymore. I can't sit and—"

"—mop—" Ron interjects.

Draco glares at him but ignores the said, "—around like this. I'm going crazy."

"We have noticed," Ron comments again.

"Thank you, Weasley, for your observation. I didn't know you had any skills in that field." Draco mocks, yet it doesn't have the usual bite, though Ron is on his feet almost immediately

"Malfoy, you—"

Hermione rushes in from where she has been standing by the doorframe, "Boys, there's no point of arguing. Harry wouldn't want that."

Something finally snaps in Draco, "I don't care what Harry fucking Potter wants."

"You know it's not truth as much as I do," Hermione calmly states.

"Truth you say? The truth is that I'm so fucking much missing him it almost hurts physically."

"Draco…"

"You, too. you miss him, too," Hermione nods, though it's not a question, " you both want to fight with him as much as I do. Why couldn't he fucking accept that and stop being a selfish prick and let us help, huh?"

"You know that he has lost almost everyone he cares about deeply, except a few, including us. I'm sure he just wants to keep us safe no matter what."

Ron nods along with her words.

"What about him? What if he loses? What if he doesn't come out of the war alive? What then? Haven't you thought about that? It's harder to be left behind and survive when the one you're living for dies in the war. I just—" Draco clams his mouth shut in horror of realizing how much he had let them know

Sending one last wide-eyed look at the two stunned teenagers, Draco flees the room to hide in his own and think of lake, a soft breeze, brown hair and magnificent green eyes.

&

_**vi.**_

_Draco finds Harry alone by the lake, gazing thoughtfully at the sky._

"_Thinking, Ha—Potter?"_

"_Malfoy, what are you doing here?" Harry swirls around to face him, his gorgeous green eyes narrowed. The sight of Harry, rays of sun playing in his raven hair, his shirt crumbled and tie loosed and hands in his pockets, is simply breathtaking for Draco. God, he's definitely totally gone for Harry and it's not even funny anymore._

"_I was just walking around until I ran into you," Draco shrugs, making the meeting sound unintentional._

_Luckily, Harry buys the lie and turns back to lake, ignoring Draco._

"_Now, what are you thinking about, Potter?"_

"_Why you want to know?"_

"_I'm just trying to make a small talk, that's all," Draco walks closer, to stand beside him, though with a distance because he's sure Harry wouldn't appreciate him invading his private space. No matter how gone, Draco hasn't gone crazy, yet, knowing that the boy could pretty easily hex him._

_Harry's eyebrows shoots up to his hairline, and he answers, "Really? You're surprising me more and more lately. In a good way." Draco's is pleased to hear that. "Well, to answer your question… I'm simply enjoying the peacefulness of this place, trying __**not**__ to think much, actually."_

"_Oh, that's so. Myself, I'm trying to escape a few annoying Slytherins."_

"_And why are they so annoying, if you don't mind me asking you?" Harry turns at Draco with a genuinely curious expression what's so different from the looks of distrust and smirks Draco usually receives, he's struck for a second._

"_Well, er, they just won't leave me alone for a minute. Mostly it's Pansy talking my ears off."_

_Harry actually chuckles at that, and Draco steals a glance at the smaller boy, "I think I can understand you. Ron is in __Quidditch __mode these days and he just __**won't**__ shut up. Don't get me wrong, I like quidditch but it's too much even for me."_

_Draco actually lets a smile slip for a short while and Harry catches that, obviously surprised like he doesn't believe what's happening all of sudden._

_Draco Malfoy is smiling genuinely. Even for Draco himself it's a little bizarre, counting the fact they are supposed to be enemies. Yet, here they are, feeling like time has frozen from the intensity of their locked gaze and the strangeness of it all._

_Suddenly, Harry goes wide-eyed and breaks their eye contact._

"_I need to go," with that he practically flees to the castle._

&

_**vii.**_

"Don't go, don't go," Draco whispers, eyes closed and still dreaming.

Harry haunts him even in his dream world. The memories they shared and the good and bad times they had, are most of dreams he has, not counting the nightmares that often plagues his tired mind. Usually they're about Harry being killed and those times Draco wakes up shaking and sweating, eyes wide. "Just a dream, just a bad dream," he'd usually calm himself and lie awake for the rest of the night.

He doesn't like to be weak like that and he tries not to but it seems like everyone sees right through him these days. Harry was the first person to do so besides his father, the first to understand him like no one else did and cared to.

This time the sleepless hours caught up with him in the moment he waited the least and he fell asleep in the chair while reading a book in the library.

"hey! Hey, Draco, wake up," Hermione shakes the sleeping boy awake.

Almost immediately, he sits up straight and looks around, disoriented, "What?" he catches the sight of the open book and himself in the chair, "_Oh_."

"You were talking in your sleep," Hermione adds when he looks at her with a question in those grey eyes.

Draco looks at her sadly, having a good idea of what she heard, "I miss him, you know."

"We all do but he's somewhere out here."

Draco smiles to reassure her that he'll be okay, that he knows but it quite doesn't reach his eyes and she understands.

&

_**viii.**_

_The longing is simply unbearable for Draco and the glares he gets from Harry every time he does as little as look at him are much worse._

_Of course, being the Slytherin Prince with a pride higher than a mountain, Draco was just destined to do something unbelievably stupid (though at that time it seemed brilliant) and lose everything he started._

_Draco bumps into Harry before Potion class. Surprisingly he's alone._

"_Malfoy," Harry dusts off his robes, glares at him, turns on his heel and leaves._

"_Potter, wait!" Draco almost immediately rushes after him._

"_What? I don't have anything to say to you," Harry stops and speaks with his back facing Draco._

"_Listen, Harry, I'm--" _sorry.

_If Harry was ever surprised about his slip, Draco didn't find that out._

"_No, Malfoy, I don't want to hear you and even less talk to you," with that Harry walks off to Potion class._

_A moment later, Snape's cold voice wakes Draco up from his momentary frozen state, "Move, Malfoy, you're in my way."_

&

_**ix.**_

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Draco yells from the bathroom where he was having a shower when Ron came in a few moments ago and started to urge him.

Draco had gained some spirit when he found out that he could help The Order with capturing the Death Eaters, though not leaving The Grimuld Place (but he's not losing the hope to go with them). He's analyzing facts and places and also with his father's involvement as the Death Eater, he has information of a few Death Eaters' family places.

"Then actually move," Ron yells right back with irritation in his voice.

Finally, the bathroom door opens and Draco comes out fully dressed, his hair still wet. "What so important you have to say?"

"I've got good news… Harry has discovered and destroyed another horcrux," Ron is excited.

Draco smiles, "That means—"

"There's only one left."

"But how did you found that out, anyway?"

"Order caught a couple of scared Death Eaters, trying to attack a shop. Apparently, the Dark Lord in his pain had yelled out insults to Harry and revealed a few facts to all Death Eaters in the hearing range."

"How thoughtless of him," Draco mocks but inside he's dancing, happy that Harry is alive and relatively fine and the madman has less power than before.

&

_**X.**_

"—_and then I thought of an plan—it was fabulous, say what you want—and of course it didn't go the way I wanted, you just thought I was the jerk—I always am—and, of course, as a good Golden Boy you saved the victim of 'my evil ways', though the situation was reversed—I was target and you didn't believe me-- and I was left with nothing, again. Then, I was going crazy because you gave all those cold glares and I couldn't help my feelings… that I'm fucking in love with you but, of course, you remained oblivious to that fact, too busy saving the world. Yet, here I am saying __**I'm sorry**__, and all you could say is that fucking little word __**why**__ of all others and I cannot—"_

_Harry crushes his mouth against Draco's in a fierce kiss to shut the rambling boy up and it works to say at least. With a small whimper, a couple of heartbeats later Draco yields, throwing his arms around the smaller boy's frame._

_So like this it's their first kiss, a start of many, many, many others. Nothing gentle and sweet, but more like a desperate exploring of the unfamiliar territory they want to make feel like home._

&

_**xi.**_

Everyone around Draco is anxious because it feels like calm before the storm. Death Eaters' attacks are rare occurrence these days. The Order settles for waiting and it's the one thing that annoys Draco. He's usually patient person but this kind of waiting where something can happen every second and, if you're too slow to pick up the hints, you've lost, annoys him to no end.

"We're going."

"Me, too."

The Order members come up with a plan to go and investigate a few places they know The Death Eaters are seen the most. For once Draco wants to participate, too, yet from the looks he receives, it's pretty obvious what they think about such an idea.

"You can't go anywhere. You remember right? You're one on the top of Dark Lord's hit list. If they spot you, you're dead," Remus explains slowly to Draco like he's some little child.

The rest nods along.

"I know. I know… But I can use glamour and besides—"

"It's. not. safe."

Draco opens his mouth to argue but Tonks interrupts, "Remus is right. You stayed here safe before. No need to risk your protection, now."

"It's decided, then. Divide in pairs and let's get going."

&

_**xii.**_

_Harry strolls in the library with Draco in tow. They both look around for certain two—Granger and Weasley—ignoring the surprised looks they are getting from other students._

_Draco's never going to admit that out loud, but he's scared. He knows that their options mean a great deal to Harry and if they not approve or even try to break them up, Draco's afraid that Harry will simply leave him. He doesn't want that to happen, ever._

"_Oh, there they are," Harry speaks, pulling Draco out of his thoughts._

_Apparently, the duo are heatedly whispering back and forth and haven't seen them entering and are yet to notice the whispering that's getting louder and louder by every step they take closer to Granger and Weasley._

"_Ahem," Harry coughs to get their attention._

"_Oh, Harry." Weasley is the first one to look up his frown changing into a smile until his eyes spot Draco beside Harry and the expression changes to scowl and he leaps on his feet, ready to defend. "Malfoy, you stupid git, what the hell are you doing here?"_

_Draco's face hardens, "Weasley, you—" Harry gives him a warning look. "I have nothing to say to you," he ends through gritted teeth. Harry smiles beside him._

_Ron gapes. Hermione only narrows her eyes and looks strangely between the two of them._

"_But I do have something to say," Harry interrupts the silence, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. Weasley looks at him like he has lost his mind and Granger raises her eyebrows, yet they're waiting for him to continue. "We—I and Draco—" Harry locks his hand with Draco's, searching for comfort to continue, "We are a couple."_

_The whole library is strangely silent until…_

_THUD_

_Weasley faints._

_Granger starts to laugh._

&

_**xiii.**_

"And I remember telling you later to shut up and stop laughing."

"Oh yeah, Wea—Ron I remember _that_," Draco grins, still amused by the memory.

Ron gives the blond a pointed look when it's obvious that Draco wants to laugh. "I wasn't that funny."

"Believe me, it was." and with that Draco is laughing, head thrown back.

Hermione, who has been watching the two talking all the time, nudges Ron in the side when he wants to argue further, whispering, "Let him be. He hasn't laughed like that since Harry left."

But, like everything these days, Draco's happiness is short lived. Tonks and Remus appear in the doorway, grave expressions on their faces. Draco's laugh stops short.

"We have a problem."

Draco's face falls.

&

_**xiv.**_

"_Why so long face?" Harry comes from behind, wrapping his arms around Draco slim waist, and plants light kisses on Draco's neck up to his ear._

_Draco leans in the touch, sighing in contentment, "it's nothing."_

"_No, it must be something, because you look sad. Love, what it is?"_

"_I just… you ignored me for days and then your friends….and I thought that…that…" Draco stops and gives out a short humorless laugh, saying nothing more._

_Harry turns him around, alarmed, and looks straight in his eyes. "Thought what?" the grip Harry has on Draco's arms tightens, yet it's soothing in a way when his thumbs caress the skin._

"_That you might change your mind," the last words are barely a whisper._

"_Look at me Draco," he doesn't respond, eyes fixed to ground. "Please, love… Draco," the tone is almost pleading._

_Finally, tentatively, Draco lifts his eyes from the ground, and Harry looks back with determination and affection floating through his eyes. _

_Draco's breathe catches in his throat._

"_I'll be by your side, I promise."_

"_Forever?"_

"_Forever."_

&

_**xv.**_

The week where there are a lot Death Eater attacks and a rumor spreading around that The-Boy-Who-Lived is dead, Draco cries for Harry late at nights, knees up to his chin and arms hugging his legs. He doesn't talk to anyone those days, and the heavy rain outside matches his mood perfectly.

Draco misses and aches for Harry, for his touches, presence, anything that's him. No matter how it hurts, he won't give up.

&

_**xvi.**_

_The not-so-newly formed couple ran laughing in the living room. Ever since they got together Draco has been protected by the light side and been hiding in the Order quarters- The Number Twelve._

_Draco tickles Harry in sides and, through fits of laugh, Harry manages to do the same to him until they end up as a laughing bundle on the green couch in front of the fireplace._

_Being on the top, Draco straddles Harry's hips, grinning mischievously down at the flushed brown-haired boy beneath him. "Now you're at my mercy."_

"_What yo—amph—" Draco silences Harry with a kiss, running his hands under the red t-shirt Harry is wearing to feel the warmness of his skin. He breaks the lip contact to trail kisses along Harry's jaw line and plant one on the top of his nose, getting a small chuckle, and reward Harry with butterfly kisses on his neck._

"_Draco… Oh God…mmm," Harry yields Draco's touches and Draco couldn't help but smile against Harry's skin and then whisper, "I want to do this forever. So perfect."_

_Draco doesn't know what possessed him to say that but the reaction he got wasn't he one he expected at all._

_Suddenly, Harry pushes him away a sober expression on his face._

"_What's wrong?" Draco immediately asks, worry lacing his voice._

"_I…I needed to say something to you," Harry looks down at this hands. Understanding that whatever it is that's a serious matter, Draco climbs off Harry and sits down beside him, taking one hand in his._

"_What it is?"_

"_I will… I will leave soon. There are things I need to do alone."_

&

_**xvii.**_

Draco's curled up in a ball on the same old green couch, eyes unseeingly staring in the fire. He remembers when Harry's touch was so new, burning his ski and leaving tingling sensation behind, yet he never grew out of those feelings. He never will.

Hermione comes a while later, cup of coffee and a pair of sandwiches with her, words '_you should eat something'_ on her lips.

Draco doesn't move or respond, so she moves Draco in a sitting position and gathers him in her arms, offering comfort. Draco lets Hermione hold him. He seeks reassurance in the warmth what's not Harry's.

&

_**xviii.**_

"_Do you really need to do that?" Draco asks for like millionth time for these past days._

"_I do." Harry merely smiles and snuggles deeper in his tight embrace. Draco's desperate at this point (he stopped being angry long days ago, knowing it wouldn't lead him anywhere). He'd do anything to make Harry stay- like tie him to bed or lock in a room but then Harry may never forgive him._

_Draco gives a light kiss in Harry's hair, whispering, "Come back safe, then." __**Stay here and be okay, please.**_

"_I will." Harry murmurs and shifts in Draco's embrace to lock their lips for one last time in a long time._

_Draco could feel his despair through the kiss, through the way his hands went under his shirt and caressed his skin like fearing he may not ever again._

_When they break apart, Draco tries to smile and be strong. Harry needs it- his support._

_Harry moves out of his embrace, their hands only locked by now._

"_Then, I'll be going."_

_**I need you…need you so…so much. Stay.**__"Just go, already. I know you'll do well."_

_Harry shakes his head, through the tears that are glistering in his eyes, yet he smiles. "Good-bye."_

_**Promise to return, promise to be okay. Promise me.**__"Bye."_

&

_**xix.**_

It's winter, already. Pearls of white snowflakes fall down, twirling and dancing in the air. Number Twelve is unusually quite like waiting for something yet to be found out.

Suddenly there's a knock on the outdoor, echoing in the house, and bewildered, yet hopeful Ron and Hermione go to open the door, wands in their hands in case something.

They swing it open and freeze. On the other side, clothes torn and dirty, face covered with blood and dirt, stands Harry. He stumbles in and stops a few short steps inside the house. Ron and Hermione are deathly silent, until they overcome their shock and threw themselves at Harry both at the same time, happy grins on their faces.

"Harry," Hermione exclaims.

"You're back," a soft voice from the bottom of the staircase breaks the strange reunion the moment Harry had opened his mouth to speak.

Ron and Hermione part from Harry rather sheepishly to give access to the person who spoke.

It's Draco standing there. He's wearing simple grey sweater and black pants, his platinum blond hair falling freely around his face.

"He's dead," Harry finally croaks out with his voice sounding unused. These are the words that set both lovers in action, and they run in each other's open arms.

"You're here. You're really here. It's over," Draco murmurs breathlessly against Harry's messy hair, "How could you? How could you put me through all this?" Draco fists Harry's stained shirt, "the nights I was waiting and thinking of you in danger… the days I was longing…" tears prickled at the corners of Draco's eyes, threatening to fall down. It just took Harry back in his arms for all his emotions to break free, all the fear and longing, wishing and worrying. "I just couldn't take. You're a bastard… a bastard." It takes long moments for Draco to calm down even just a little bit.

"Draco, I love you," Harry mumbles almost breathlessly and looks in those grey eyes that haunted his dreams for long months.

"I love you, too," Draco says, looking straight in Harry's eyes.

Harry searches for Draco's lips to lock them with his; clinging to other like it's a matter of life and death. Draco meets him half-way, and Harry sighs in the kiss, inhaling Draco's unique scent.

It feels like returning home at last.

_**~Fin~**_


End file.
